These Widow's Shoes

My Beloved Monster and Me

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My beloved monster and me
We go everywhere together
Wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves
Gets us through all kinds of weather

She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that’s so damn mean

My beloved monster is tough
If she wants she will disrobe you
But if you lay her down for a kiss
Her little heart it could explode

She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that’s so damn
Mean

This was one of Ben and I’s songs. It was played during our wedding ceremony and I also included it in the funeral service. The Eels were one of the few bands that Ben and I agreed on – so we treasured them.

I confess that I never thought too deeply about the lyrics and had always seen it as a love song, influenced (I confess again) by the fact that I first heard it during a pastiche ‘falling in love’ montage in the film ‘Shrek’.

Of course it can be a romantic love song, but suddenly for me it’s not about Ben and I, it’s about Saskia. She is my most beloved monster and since Ben died she has been my talisman. The joy she exudes soothes the ‘awful sting’ so perfectly. And there are other ways in which these words are absolutely about Saskia, but perhaps those of you who know Saskia, or who are parents, can imagine.

Here’s a link to the gorgeous Mr Mark Oliver Everett (the Eels dude) singing the song.

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