This is me, my husband Ben and daughter Saskia back in May 2012. A few months before this Ben had been told that the skin cancer he’d hoped had gone for good was back with a vengeance – and it was terminal. Ben (so wisely) decided that we should get a family photo shoot done while he still looked like the healthy, happy Ben he wanted to be remembered as. So here we are, having a lovely hour or so together on Whitstable beach in Kent (UK), not far from Faversham where our home is.
Ben was incredibly positive and strong throughout the very difficult months that followed. While just about everything in his life was going in the wrong direction, one thing was a huge, unexpected success, and that was the blog that he wrote about living with the disease – Me and My Unwelcome Visitors: A blog about living with malignant melanoma. The blog lives on and is still visited daily by people looking for information and support.
However, on 3rd January 2013 my beloved Ben’s struggle ended – he died peacefully in his sleep at Pilgrims Hospice in Canterbury.
So that’s the beginning of this story. I now have a new label – widow. It’s difficult to comes to terms with, and my journey as I discover what ‘these widow’s shoes’ mean for me is the main theme of this blog. It also includes reflections on my talks with Saskia about the loss of her Daddy and occasionally other related topics that inspire me.
Thanks for reading – I hope you find something that interests you.
PS – Here’s a picture of Saskia and I in August 2013
December 14, 2013 at 6:47 pm
Just realized today Sally that you have been writing this blog since Ben passed away.our love to you and Saskia as always. Xoxo
February 22, 2014 at 1:54 pm
I have just found your blog. I lost my amazing darling husband on 31st Jan this year, only 3 weeks ago. He was cared for by pilgrims hospice margate. X
February 22, 2014 at 8:20 pm
Hi Jade. So sorry to hear you lost your husband too. I hope reading this has helped or been useful for you in some small way. I found Pilgrims to be a most wonderful support – I hope you did too. Take care. Sally x
November 16, 2014 at 10:37 pm
Hi Jade. I’ve been terrible about replying to messages on here. So sorry not to reply to you and really sorry to hear you lost your husband too. Really hope you’re doing ok. X
November 21, 2014 at 7:53 pm
I don’t normally comment or even read ‘blog’s as a rule but something, I’m not sure what made me read yours & it is like reading about my life has brought me much comfort.
One of the funniest, kindest &most fantastic fathers, my husband Jez, lost his battle with cancer in August at the age of 36 it is your tales of Saskia that are brilliant as I too have a daughter of just 3.
I just wanted to say what a great read your blog is xxx
November 22, 2014 at 1:35 am
Hi Hannah. I think you’re the first non-family or friend comment I’ve had on here, so it means a great deal to me to know that there’s someone like me out there who finds my writing helpful. Thanks very much – I hope you keep on reading. X
March 17, 2015 at 12:12 pm
I was going through your blog and found the content very touching.
I write to you on behalf of the editor of Complete Wellbeing, an award-winning magazine on personal growth and I was wondering if you’d like to share your story with our readers? I request you to check out our website http://completewellbeing.com/ to get an idea of the stories we carry. If you are interested please contact me at email@example.com.
I look forward to hearing from you!
January 26, 2018 at 11:48 am
I found your blog after searching online for you after I read your plastic campaign.
I’ve learned a little more about you since being on here and I’m so sorry to read about your husband.
If there is anything I can do as a fellow Faversham mum to volunteer and assist in your campaign then please let me know. I would love to help.